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today i realized..

Breakfast:  100% liquid egg whites (75 calories), 1 cup spinach (7 calories), and 1/4 cup fat free shredded cheddar cheese (45 calories)

Lunch:  2 cups spinach (14 calories), 1/2 cup halves strawberries (24 calories), 1/2 cup chopped carrots (26 calories), 1/2 cup sliced cucumbers (8 calories), 12 Meal Starters chik’n strips (140 calories), 2 tbsp raspberry vinaigrette (60 calories)

Dinner:  Flour tortilla (218 calories), mixed vegetables (91 calories), 1/4 cup crumbled feta cheese (99 calories), 1 tbsp olive oil (119 calories), 1 tbsp vinegar (3 calories)

TOTAL:  Fat: 35.9  Carbs: 89.7  Prot: 66.9  Calories: 930

I was really bored watching Criminal minds so, suddenly, I started doing some lunges and now I am covered up in sweat!

Today is the first time I do 100 Jumping jacks in a row, I normally do them in two sets of 50, after doing those 100 I felt my calves burn like hell, but, DAAAAMN! it felt so freaking good! You know what? I’m going to do 100 more! wait…

and here’s that amazing feeling again! I’m Done!

This week I didn’t exercise that hard, want to know why? well, prepare yourself for a laaame excuse, it’s all beacuse I straightened my hair LOL, but seriously I don’t want to mess my hair :(

Anyway, I’m going to take a refreshing shower in a couple of minutes, then I’m going to read a bit of Harry potter and later I may go to sleep, or watch Castle haha.

Wow, this is quite long! Stay motivated guys? 

I have loss some weight (and am VERY grateful for this)… but I know I can, and SHOULD be losing more weight than I have.

It’s time to kick it up a few notches…..

Ugh… I feel horrible. I feel like I ate to much today, because I did, and now I’ve been rubbing my face for the last half and hour. I feel like it’s been gaining fat and I even feel like I can feel it growing on my face… God my face feels ugly right now, not to mention my stomach. I ate dinner around 6:00pm. It’s now about 9:50 and I feel that the same crap I ate is still sitting in there and just made me bigger. I even ran today as well as workout… I guess that didn’t help at all.

I hate this feeling… It’s either I eat something and feel like a fat ass all day or eat nothing and the constant bombardment of questions from my parents of “Did you eat today?” or “Why haven’t you eaten?” I hate having to deal with that… They should just leave me alone for once… God. “Mom, I have enough trouble with eating and who I am. Deciding if I’m going to regret the 15 carrots I’m going to eat for all of today… Stop asking me about it!”

I wish my life could give me a break for once. I wish I didn’t have to worry about what I eat or even worry that I’m going to regret it in the end. I wish I could tell when my body was full so I can eat a normal size meal and not binge when I do eat… I just want to be normal and not be fucked up all the time. Worrying about every little thing… If only wishes did come true.

I won’t be posting a detailed list of my intake, but I will say it was around 1100 calories. I came down with a flu-like sickness and won’t be working out for the next few days! Hopefully I feel better soon! 

On the bright side- I ombred my black extensions to a beautiful sandy blonde and they look fabo! I’m never getting my hair done at the salon again since this only costed me $10. Next, I’ll do my real hair. ;)

 and im down to 109.4 lbs! hell yea making progress!!! so stoked.

been working hard, eating healthy, and exercising at least some every day. w00t.

I normally eat a teeny tiny salad for lunch everyday, and barely pick at my dinner. But today I ate an entire sandwich (turkey, lettuce, pepperjack) and then half an apple, and I was so full I was sick the rest of the day.

When I got home my mom made chicken, brocolli, potatoes, and corn. I ate a little bit of everything and I felt so sick that I had to purge.

I haven’t in almost a week, so I was kind of upset with myself that I even ate it in the first place. 

I think I went on auto pilot eating because I had just ran 2miles. 

I feel so sick now, and my throat burns. But at least I’m empty.

Ive lost an entire pant size now, so I am incredibly happy. and I’m down to 105.  I just feel lonely right now.

I need to create a two hour workout routine for tomorrow morning so I don’t have to run into that dick of a weight training instructor. There’s a weight room that also includes treadmills and bikes, I’d rather not use em’ to be honest because there’s a beautiful track outside. Please help! 

that i am a total binger.

I ate pineapple and grapes for breakfast.. then when i got done with work i was STARVING.. and since we get food cheap at  the restuarant i worked at i ordered some food to go.. you want to know what i ordered… GOOSE CALLS..

Not from Wisconsin? Particularly Green Lake? Well goose calls are mozzeral cheese sticks wrapped in tortillas deep fried and then served with marinara sauce… i ate them ALL.. SEVEN of them… i wasnt even that hungry by the fourth one but i ate them any way… then i felt like shit, came home… ate a salad..went to the gym came home again ate some cheese and an apple and some peanuts.. hummm i neeeeeed to lose this weight…