A Small Step (copied from my old blog May 31st; original post date). 06/06/2011
A Small Step
I think I’m in this…we shall see though. Its been about 3 or 4 days, but I’ve been waking up early to try and stay committed to losing weight this year. I weighed in this morning officially as my first at 245 pounds at 5’2”. I know that is not healthy at all and in the midst of everything that’s been going on in my life, I feel like this will be the year I will commit to it. No matter how hard it gets. I feel like waking up early in the morning is going to be best for me. Researches say that those who do work out in the morning are more committed to their routines anyways.
Back to the important stuff. 245 pounds! That is morbidly obese for someone like me, because i’m only 5 foot, 2 inches. I should be in the 115-125 range. Although, that would be lovely, I’m more looking forward to one day getting down to a size 4,6, or 8. Currently I can wear a shit 18/20 pants, and 16/18 shirt. I’m not really sure on my body’s shape, but I’m hoping when I lose weight I’ll be an hourglass…but isn’t that every woman’s dream shape.
My family has struggled with weight, its come down the line. Both of my aunt’s and my grandmother. One aunt was so big when she was my age she took drastic measures to lose the weight, and although she has never gotten big again, sometimes I think her extreme measures have affected her adult life and the way she goes about making sure she doesn’t gain all the weight back again.
I feel like I am a role model to my cousins, especially my young, pre-teen cousin L. She is extremely heavy for her height and my aunt told me that the doctor said L cound’t do volleyball because of her asthma, which is heavily influenced by her weight. She is almost as tall as me, and I fear her weight is quite hefty for a girl her age and height. My thoughts are consumed and I feel responsible for L’s weight. I’m her older cousin and should be a role model in almost every aspect. I will conquer this.
I’m tired of my weight holding me back from being the open, bubbly person I feel I could be. Instead I hide behind my weight in fear, because I do not want to be judged, ridiculed or stared at. I just want to live life to the fullest and this FAT is holding me back. I’ve been walking on and off for a week or so. I’m trying to walk every morning for 30 minutes at the least, with random jogs within that 30 minutes. I figure I am taking the c25K method, but tweaking it a little. I want to do this the right way so my body can adjust and become accustom to it, so that when I do reach my goal, it will be harder to put the weight back on, which hopefully will never be a problem.
It just amazes me though, that in high school, my freshman year in gym class we had to run a mile like every week…well of course I would walk/run it, walking predominantly. I was around 230 at that time, but managed to get down to 216. About 15 pounds lost by only doing a mile a week. What is it I am doing wrong now? Oh well, I can only give it my best. I would love to go walking/running at night but its dark and I have no protection but my brother, Brandon and John..which Brandon and John will be leaving soon : / I will miss them. All this testosterone in the house, I felt protected. HAHA…
Anyways, this is just my random entry to get all these thoughts out of my head.
Love & God Bless.
My latest weigh-in. 8stone10
Okay! So I always get asks on here, formspring and on facebook asking “What do I do to lose weight?” and not wanting to turn this into a weight loss blog I spent the last 10 minutes writing shit down here ! It’s not that I don’t like talking about it, I just hate repeating myself to everyone on here.
Age: 23
Height: 5’6”
Highest Weight: 215
Starting Weight: 208 (Mid-January)
Current Weight: 180 (as of 5/11/11)
Goal Weight: 150… and then we’ll work from there
Arms: 12”
Calves: 16.5”
Thighs: 23.5”
Waist: 41”
Stomach: 40”
Breasts: 40”
Good morning everyone :)
Going downtown to get my eyes checked out; I don’t think I’ve been up this early since the last day of school. It’s an oddly good feeling.
I went really high over my desired intake yesterday. Really high. I planning to fast today, tomorrow and Wednesday.
i mean obviously i’m not into being totally bone-skinny, because my UGW is 150, which is just in the healthy range, but i’m really annoyed by the fat acceptance movement. i was obese and only heading toward more obesity because i was surrounded by people who told me “You’re fat, you’re always going to be fat, its okay.” and now i’m healthier, happier, and on the road to living a longer, more fulfilling life. i wish someone would have told me earlier how easy it would be to adopt a healthier lifestyle and to actually love myself for once.
my mom, who is obese, always told me its no use hating myself for what i am and for what i’ll always be, which is “chubby.”
now i’m working really really really hard to lose weight and be happier for my mom. i want her to see and to be a great example for her to perhaps change her outlook and her lifestyle. she’s already noticing changes in me and complimenting me about it.
I wanna get back to this size. I want to feel pretty again.
DONE!
6 more days left! I was NOT feeling it today at all. I skipped yesterday so it had to be done. But ugh, sometimes I just do NOT want to exercise. I would like to hit an hour total though but to be honest, I have my meals planned out for the day already and am planning on doing some walking later (hopefully to the pool.. if not just around the apartment complex). I think I just want to relax and do homework all day. Dreading work tomorrow but whatelseisnew?
No eating out this week! I don’t have plans with any friends to grab lunch or dinner… there is always that possibility. If it does happen, I’ll just work out hard and make sure I have enough calories. But aside from that, I am sticking to the kitchen.
I really hope to hit my 30lb goal this Friday… I want to go buy my feather extensions! Haha I get paid Wednesday so I really will have no excuses not to… I need to lose 2lbs this week..Watch I bet I’ll hit 29.5lbs lost.. that would be my luck! It’s taking so long to get to the 170s..
Okay, I’m starving. Time for breakfast and homework!
I’m also going to do the 30 day challenge now that I have measurements because I can see how they are over 30 days!
i trust people,
these people who i thought were my friends yeah,
they tried to split me and my boyfriend up yeah?
not only that but they’ve been going around saying that i’m below average in looks, and that people should be ashamed to be seen with me!
Never again am i going to trust them.
I know that i’m fat
I know that i’m not that pretty
I know there’s alot i could change.
why do they think i’m doing all this?
Thanks a bunch for wrecking my confidence.
