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The Hills are Alive ... with the Sound of 20-30 Heidi Montag Orgasms a Day

In addition to Heidi Montag Playboy photos, the men's magazine has treated us to an interview, conducted by Spencer, in which his better half reveals a lot about plastic surgery, and of course, boning.

Heidi to Spencer, on their sex life: “I knew what sex was, but when I met you I entered a new realm of understanding, from fantasy to love, to experience a day with 20-30 orgasms. Before you, sex was just something that happened. Now it’s something I look forward to every minute."

Try to turn away from the keyboard as you vomit.

Spencer, on watching Heidi's Playboy cover shoot: “It was f*%king torture! I got the biggest case of blue balls in history. I wanted to shut down production after the outfit change so I could enjoy you all to myself."

"I suggest they bring something like that to Guantanamo Bay. Who needs waterboarding when you can have Heidi Montag posing in these outfits in front of you, in front of the ocean, and not be able to make a move on her? I’m not kidding.”

Spencer, on Heidi suggesting she enlarge her fake boobs even more: “Don’t do it for me. I think you have the best custom made breasts in the world right now. I don’t need any changes. I’m already driving a Bugatti every day.”

Credit: The Hollywood Gossip

****Don't forget to read Heidi Montag Pratt - The Full Playboy Interview by Spencer Pratt. Thanks to Hills Freak for publishing it!****